One of the funniest things my Goddaughter taught me when she was a tiny person was the power of a tiny word – “NO”!

The first time she gave me a “No” with attitude her father didn’t take to it too kindly. There was an immediate response with a, “Don’t you ever tell Aunt Charlene ‘no’ like that again” added to it. I don’t know if I was more surprised at his response or if she was. If I wasn’t ready for the responsibility and the vote of confidence her father gave me at that moment it was too late! He was telling us both that whatever I said and whatever I did should matter to her. That was powerful and that trust is something I never took for granted.

There is power in the word “No”. Simply “No”. I heard a colleague allude to this in class recently. For some reason, children seem to get it but adults don’t. When children don’t want to do something they tell you “No” and sometimes will qualify it with a perfectly logical explanation. Sometimes they tell you “No” and that’s it! As parents and guardians we often override their “No” response however, we take note of the fact it was said and why. As adults we feel we can’t say “No” to anything. If we do say “No” we feel it needs a qualifier. What does a child know that we as grownups don’t know?

“No” stated in this day and age where things move too fast and things that are done can be hurtful in so many situations is not a bad thing. “No” to a bully may cause a reaction because now he/she knows their behavior is unacceptable. “No” in an unethical or extreme work situation may cause anger and retaliation however it will raise consciousness and will give peace of mind to the naysayer. One of the things I have told my employers is that they should keep any unethical behavior from my view or investigation; I have no plans to spend any time in federal prison for a lie or omission. The expectation was set that “no” unethical behavior would be tolerated. No problems, no repercussions!

Alyssa did have a little patch where “No” was pretty much her standard teenager answer and I’m not mad at her. I prefer a young woman with her own opinion; I figured she would negotiate a major point before she let her principles be trampled and went along just to get along. From what I can see it worked like a charm, and that is the idea of the “No” – the right to have an opinion, to have some thinking room and in the process to keep some semblance of your true self and sanity.

Alyssa, thank you for teaching your Aunt Charlene the power of that tiny word.

Lesson learned.