There is not enough attention given to making a graceful exit…

When Alyssa was a little girl, she was very clear in her conversation – and in her meaning. One of the things that still sticks out in my mind is how she would end a conversation, especially when she was being reprimanded or heard something she didn’t want to hear. She would say, “Fine” in a tone more in line with “Whatever”, turn on her heel and leave the room. Unbeknownst to her, her Mother and I would secretly smile at her display of independence.

To this day, I can’t remember a time when Alyssa was ever blatantly disrespectful to me. She did some typical teen stuff so I’m not adding a halo to her head (or to my own, my Mother will tell you I was a real handful for a while) however I never recall anything that would have landed her in the zone of punishment or reprimand. Even when we disagree on things, I would let her know I understood her irritation with me – and I was irritated with her as well. I still loved her and told her so. Maybe that is why we are the way we are today – adults who can disagree without holding a grudge or being hissy hateful in the process.

In today’s society, many folks don’t know how to make a graceful exit. Unfortunately, we read about it all the time in the news or hear it in our inner circles. We “tell it like it is” or “give somebody a piece of our mind” with no thought about the consequence of what we say or do. We burn emotional bridges by the hurtful hateful words and acts we do as we exit. We even have words written on our undies and our backsides as the last memory anyone has of us leaving a room!

When making an exit – whether leaving a meeting, leaving a position or leaving a relationship – looks or feels anything like burning a bridge you’re doing it wrong! The idea is you should exit so the door is open for you to be invited back – as a guest, as a contributor, as a subject matter expert or as a speaker. You should be able to call back to any job you leave to get a reference from a colleague or manager – and they should do it with a smile. This is something you might want to consider the next time you decide to give someone a piece of your mind in any instance – put your mind back in your pocket and exit with a gracious or kind word instead.

My Goddaughter hasn’t burned any bridges in our relationship and I hope she carries that throughout her personal and professional lives. She can be assertive, diplomatic and insightful and get her point across – just as she did when she was little.

Lesson learned.