Source: The Great Divide

During one of many conversations with my late great-great Uncle Alonzo we talked about then baby Alyssa and her future. At that time I was going through some things at work that I believed stemmed from a lack of intercultural understanding. I remember telling him I was so sorry she would have to live in a society that judged her by her color rather than by her character. He told me he had the same thought when I was born; how sad it was that people were more inclined to judge me as a person by what I looked like before they got to know me or what I could offer.

An incident that happened to Alyssa when she was little demonstrated we are far from a “post-racial America”. It was my understanding that one of her classmates attempted to cut her hair because she didn’t believe a child of color could have such a nice head of hair. I recall as my cousin was telling me about this that I began fishing for my car keys. She asked what I was doing and I told her, “I’m on my way to Richmond. Nobody is cutting my baby’s hair!” My cousin laughed and let me know she and her husband had it under control. How unfortunate for Alyssa’s classmate that his/her vision of an African-American child did not include one of a child who had a full hair of beautiful, thick dark brown straightened hair.

So, here we are in 2016. The racial divide still exists and is strong. The political race is shining bright light on the impacts of the socioeconomic divide. Religious intolerance and hate crimes abound. How do we get beyond these insidious stereotypes that we have of each other?

Intercultural understanding in the workplace won’t come by having a virtual course once a year where you check off your company as “sensitized”. Moving away from what the media tells us and creating an atmosphere where crucial conversations take place will serve as a basis for better intercultural understanding. Inviting storytellers from different cultures into your workplace can provide yet another personal exchange of ideas. Have employee events at museums or cultural exhibits where you can tour and hear about the history of other cultures. On your own time, going to see a movie about another culture’s experience may open your mind to another point of view. Engage with other generations of your own family to hear about their experiences in life and at work. Go to theater productions about cultures other than your own to get a sense of history past and present. Support your local school and youth organizations by offering your time to tell your story so you can motivate the next generation. Ask questions of your peers that show sensitivity and a genuineness to learn about them. You can’t appreciate or respect anything or anyone you don’t know about and you certainly can’t influence anyone’s mindset if you don’t open your own mind to new possibilities and points of view.

Our children are living in a world where their innocence is constantly under attack. That may be disconcerting to many. I offered my Goddaughter the same advice I take myself and that I’ve offered others for years. Be excellent at what you do because excellence has no color and will prevail in the end. People who have racist or other views of intolerance are locked in a prison of their own choosing and I refuse to be locked in any such prison. Does this mean racist views won’t affect me? I am not that naïve; I believe my race has kept me from raises, promotions and from privileges others have freely enjoyed because they were not of African-American descent. As far as I’m concerned it is the loss of any business that allows such practices. You see, culturally aware and tolerant enterprises really do provide the best employee experiences. Most people are able to thrive in an environment where they can be their authentic selves, are appreciated for the talents they bring to the table and are promoted based on their performance. These employers provide atmospheres that are less dismissive of others. They are employers who will reap the benefit of an ever increasingly intercultural society.

Lesson learned.

Source: Humoring the Anxious Aunt

I still remember my cousin calling me to announce that she and her husband were relocating to Richmond, VA. The first question I remember asking is, “Are you taking the baby (Alyssa) with you”? Stupid question. What was she supposed to say? Marcy and Leslie surely weren’t leaving their child behind!

I give my cousin’s husband big props. Not only was I discombobulated by the idea of Marcy and Alyssa being hundreds of miles away I have an idea the rest of my family was pretty freaked out too! The opportunity was a fantastic one for him and a chance to give his growing family roots and room to grow. How could he say no to an opportunity like that? Something he did told me volumes about just how smart a man he was.

He invited his late father-in-law and me to take the trek to Richmond to see where the family would be living. My Uncle Sam knew construction and was able to size up the situation and feel comfortable with what he saw. We talked about our concerns the entire ride down and back home. Because he did this, Les had an idea he might receive our full support – and we did throw our support behind him and Marcy. I will take the liberty and speak for my Uncle in saying we were so grateful Les thought enough of us to include us in their transition plan.

Often we think when we are new to a company or to a team that we only join our immediate team, not understanding the impact we have on the entire culture of the organization. Our joining or moving actually changes the dynamic of the organization – and everybody from the company President, to the virtual team, to the clients is impacted in some way. What we give to the company – or don’t give to the company – by way of our support can actually affect the bottom line. How we respect those persons who have tenure and history with the organization will affect our appreciation for their work and our assimilation into the company culture. It’s kinda like getting married – you think you’re just marrying the person however, you’re marrying their family and family issues – and they are marrying yours as well! You are fooling yourself if you think you’re going to change the mind of any company in a flash – unless you buy the company! And even in that case, managers who have worked through mergers/acquisitions will tell you that only the most careful research, communication and buy in will allow for an almost seamless transition for the people and processes in the organization. The things you set in motion during any period of transition are the things that will impact the next phase of your life. Say or tell yourself whatever you like (especially about the marriage thing) – that’s the way it is.

My cousin’s husband is an accomplished diplomat when it comes to family affairs. The fact that he could soothe the concerns of the freaked out Aunt, the concerned Father-in-law and get full buy-in for the new life he was creating for my cousin and their children speaks volumes for his thought process and for his character. God bless my Nana Lucy because she was right about him when she told me all those years ago that he was a keeper!

Les, thanks for the lesson learned…