One of the great joys of my life was having a female child for whom I could buy lots of clothing. My cousin was very careful to make sure no matter what Alyssa wore that she presented a picture of being cared for – because she was loved and cared for. My cousin succeeded greatly in doing that.

About the time Alyssa was in high school the culture had become very casual in its approach to dressing, especially about how to dress for school. Before she came to visit me one summer I got a call to advise me of the changes Alyssa had made in her appearance to fit in more with her peers. Auntie to the rescue!

Alyssa and I have always enjoyed a relationship where I ask a question and she has been honest in her answers. Some of my questions have been superficial to get her to express herself, however when I wanted to get to the meat of something I was very direct with my questions. When the conversation came around to the dress code at her high school, I asked some pointed questions including how she would feel if I were to begin to dress super casually (wear sweatpants) as my “normal” attire. That got an eyebrow raise as a response. I also asked her how she would feel if her Mother decided to make sweatpants her “normal” attire. That got a big, roaring laugh. She got it! The next time the issue of sweatpants came up in a conversation, she was grown (and I know better than to tell a grown woman what she should wear).

I have found Alyssa to be a tasteful dresser. Sweatpants always have their place however I have an idea they don’t go to formal places or to the supermarket too often. She has a daughter and what she wears is who she is. Her daughter is dressed comfortably and with loving care and that is who she is – a child who is loved and cared for.

In a society where bra straps are shown with impudence, backsides serve as advertisements (commission should be charged) and pants ride low for the display of tattoos it is wonderful to have women like Michelle Obama on the fashion scene. Whatever happened to saving some things about your body to present to “a private audience”? The last time I was at a dinner/club in Philly the sister friend I was with and I got more stares from the guys there because we had the least skin showing. We were both dressed casual chic – and if looks from the other women in the room could have killed – we would both be dead. Call me a prude or old school because I’m happy with those labels. When a woman comes on the scene who has taken time to give the world a physical presentation that is tasteful and that shows confidence she commands the room. This is something that transcends age and culture. Employers want someone who will represent them well (both men and women) so like it or not, professional presentation is a consideration. Everyone wants to get a second look because of his or her personal style, however, what you really want in the end is for someone to take notice and be genuinely interested to get to know the person on the inside.

If you are not getting the respect you would like at work because of your professional presentation, you are in a wonderful position to change it. Find someone – mature or young – whose presentation you like and ask him or her to give you some pointers. If you are lucky like I am to have a Mom, friends and Aunties who you can go to, (I am not ashamed even at my age to go to them for advice) you are fortunate. You are never too young or too old to revamp or improve your presentation if you want to. After all, what you wear is who you are!

Lesson learned.