Earlier this year I attended the funeral of a wonderful young man who died very suddenly.  He was in very literal terms a shining star.  One of the many things I loved about him was his “giving you all I’ve got” megawatt smile!  As I went through my paperwork and came across his obituary recently I am reminded of how much I miss him and that so engaging smile.

I know Alyssa’s parents and I smiled at her a lot when she was a baby.  We loved her and smiling showed her how much joy we felt that she was in our lives.  She was quick to smile back at us however, I noticed she was discerning about smiling at others.  At the time I had absolutely no problem with that since I realized she was deciding whom she trusted and with whom she should share her joy.  Now that she is grown, she smiles easily and shows you the joyful spirit that she is.

People tell you a lot about themselves by how easily they smile, how slow they are to smile or the things that make them smile.  That holds true whether you are young or old.  I am always concerned when I am in the presence of young children who don’t smile or laugh as a natural inclination – or when cajoled.  It has been my experience that children that don’t smile may not have been shown how to smile or don’t have a reason to smile.  Children who don’t have any joy in them or in their lives very often become unhappy adults.  If you don’t smile or learn what it is to have joy when you’re young it is something that can be harder to learn as you grow older.

At work, sharing a smile can bridge chasms.  A genuine smile is one of the most universal of “languages” that can be shared.  It can make the difference between a new hire feeling welcome and a soon to be retiree feeling appreciated.  Over the telephone, a smiling salesperson or customer service representative will win high praise and their company will win awards and repeat business for the delivery of quality service to clients.  Years ago a friend clued me in on how to make my personal and professional voice mail sound more pleasant to callers – watch the inflection of my voice, enunciate and smile while I am making the recording.  People can read and feel the smile on the other end of the phone whether it’s a call from the President of the United States or from a college admissions officer giving some long anticipated good news.

You certainly can’t be a psychoanalyst at your job or at home, yet some things are literally right on your face.  At this very moment, you are smiling as you think of all the loved ones in your life or in your day-to-day interactions who share the joy of their being through their smile.  You can also think of folks who don’t smile and the things that you feel and draw from your interactions with them.  Keep in mind your thoughts about the non-smilers may be absolutely false however, the impression has been made.

Today I smile when I see Facebook pictures of my Goddaughter’s children smiling at the camera because I know she and her husband are smiling at them.  Some lessons are caught and some lessons are taught.

I’m glad this was a lesson learned!