Month: August 2016

Thorny yet Critical Conversations

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Ask the parent of any pre-teen whether they would rather have a thorny yet critical conversation with them or have root canal – s/he might run to a phone to call the dentist!  Critical conversations, you know, those conversations that we mull over, try to tell ourselves don’t need to be done, then procrastinate as long as possible thinking the issue at hand might go away.  I don’t recall having trouble talking about ‘thorny issues” with my Goddaughter but she could tell you better.  We’d established a relationship of trust and honest communication where we asked each other questions, so when topics got thorny, (e.g. discussions about boys, her choice of friends, sex and grades) somebody had to initiate and move the conversation. Sometimes I did it – and sometimes my Goddaughter took charge!

The same way we hem and haw about the thorny conversations in our personal relationships, we often do the same with critical conversations in the workplace and within our network.  We are aware of the damage that can be done by avoiding these conversations at home; avoiding uncomfortable conversations in the workplace can have similar or bigger repercussions.  Knowledge of hostile work environs, unsafe working conditions, sexual harassment, bullying/other verbal abuse or any kind of physical violence whether you are the Human Resources professional, a manager or a peer of the offender, can mushroom into serious morale issues, liability and litigation if not handled quickly and correctly once a behavior or pattern of behaviors present themselves.

Once you have knowledge of an incident, gathering as much information as possible is key versus immediately taking sides, jumping to conclusions or making rash judgments.  Having working knowledge of your company policies and procedures, knowing state and federal mandates and reviewing your industry websites where precedence is being set are all helpful in taking the proper steps for issue resolution.  Things might get more heated or uncomfortable during the resolution process however dealing with the issue will bring it to  light and should set a standard for employees of what behaviors are tolerated and which are never acceptable under any circumstance.  HR and management should document, document, and document all verbal and written advices to show the issue was addressed and to use the documentation if disciplinary action needs to be taken.  Don’t allow employees to play dim about unacceptable behaviors any more than you allow your own pre-teens to do it.

I’ve always enjoyed helping young people navigate their way through critical conversations because you are generally planting new seeds and sharing ideas.  Assisting employees as they navigate the rules of productive behaviors in the workplace often involves shining a light on existing behaviors then fostering an atmosphere where behaviors that are more positive can develop and thrive.  You can’t raise employees as you raise your children however you can surely point everyone in the direction you would like them to go.

Lesson learned.

Essential job duties

On By learnedfrommygodchildLeave a comment

The media portrays men as exemplary if they perform “essential duties” associated with being a parent.  Commercials that portray men changing diapers and feeding their children draw our attention.  The first time I heard a male co-worker say he was “babysitting” his children I think my head spun around.  I remembered asking him, “Are they your children”.  You don’t babysit your children – you babysit other people’s children.  You raise your children!

My cousin Leslie worked a full-time job yet he always made spending quality time with his children seem effortless.  He and my cousin Marcy maintained discipline with my Goddaughter and her brothers yet there were plenty of chores, laughter and “organized chaos” in the house!  Because of the quality time he spent with her, he and my Goddaughter are very close.  I appreciate the atmosphere of the home I was raised in and understand how it has influenced who I am as an adult and as a professional.  After a day at work, my Father played with and spent quality time with the three of his children as a group or individually and it never seemed like it was a big deal for him.  To hear him tell it, he was having the time of his life!  He imparted his values, some humdinger stories and the lessons he learned in the workplace.  Both my Dad and Les embraced their responsibilities as parents because they understood the importance of developing quality people who would be positive, productive members of society.   My Goddaughter and I have become the adults we are because of the attitudes our parents had about what they were doing and the quality time they invested in us.

A similar principle applies in the workplace.  Managers, male or female, are not commissioned to be parents to employees; rather managers should embrace the idea of helping their employees become creative and productive human resources through effective professional development efforts.  If a manager feels a paycheck is enough for any employee and is not doing all s/he can to develop his or her direct reports into people who can excel, move laterally or ideally, be qualified to step into their jobs, that manager isn’t earning his or her paycheck.  Establishing a training plan, career goals, teambuilding, industry discourse, one-one-one exchanges, classes, conferences, cross training, intercultural/sensitivity training and work/life balance – or any combination of these methods – are important ingredients to bring out the best in human resources.  What not to do in any given situation can be as valuable to hear as what one should do in a given situation therefore sharing practical work experiences – whether the manager is mature or someone fresh out of a college internship program – can add another layer to an employee’s professional repertoire.

A red flag should come up for any manager whose direct reports are spending more time in mentoring situations with peers, across the business or outside of their department than they are with them.  If you’re paid a manager’s salary and aren’t able, or willing, to provide an atmosphere of growth through the professional development of your employees you should be talking to your supervisor or Department Head to get what you need for your directs – and for yourself.   Many managers are evaluating their roles and their professional objectives and are taking a step back – or out of management – to change things up.  The best managers are able to discern when it is time to remove themselves from management roles due to burnout or other factors.  Most managers realize they can be outside a management role and still be a leader in their area of expertise.  In this regard, a manager who takes this critical step is doing what is best for his/her employees, for themselves and for their companies.  There is no shame in that.

Long gone are the days where corralling employees like cattle to do work will suffice to meet the bottom line.  Better communication, better time management and better development of human resources will propel business – small and large – into the best cultures and ultimately to the greatest outcomes.

My Dad and Les got it right with their children in how they raised us – quality time, setting expectations, sweat and bubble gum work every time!

Lesson learned.