I remember my cousin’s call years ago announcing that she and her husband were relocating to Richmond, VA.  The first question I remember asking her was, “Are you taking the baby (Alyssa) with you”?  Stupid question.  What was she supposed to say?  The loving parents Marcy and Leslie were they surely were not leaving their firstborn behind (See “Humoring the Anxious Aunt” posted 1-5-16).  They made a great move – and my Goddaughter has become a wonderful young woman.

Coming to the realization that it may be time to move on from a job, a friendship, a relationship, or something you once felt passionate about can be very painful – yet it can be very freeing at the same time.  I vividly recall how I felt when I realized I hated a job I had at the time.  I sang on the drive home!  Sometimes coming to the realization is voluntary and sometimes the shock of an unexpected event jars you into thinking about your situation.  However you come to this realization creating a vision about where you want to go next is important.  Doing the needed research virtually or by talking to others who are in transition or have made courageous moves can encourage your spirit.  Finding connections in the area of work (or play) that you are interested in moving into can help you determine if your skills and personality are a good fit.  Sharing details and ideas with your family and support system can help keep you on their radar if needed resources cross their path.

That little voice speaks to many of us to let us know it’s time to move on and we don’t believe what our intuition tells us.  “I haven’t been at this job that long!”  “How am I going to get along without him/her?” “The job market won’t support my moving on now”.  “I have seniority at this job; I can’t start someplace else at the bottom!”  “I have flexibility here.  What employer is going to match that?” “I’m too young/too old to do that!”  If you find yourself worrying all the time about job security, being deemed a top performer then consistently being passed over for promotions, being overloaded with work due to constant department downsizing – and that little voice continues to nag you – heed the voice!

If the realization doesn’t come voluntarily, circumstances will force us to evaluate where we are and what our next steps should be.  I’ve experienced for myself how being downsized from a job can cause you to evaluate your skills, chart a new course and reignite your passion.  Death, whether of a person or a department, can cause extreme heartache and distress however, it can indicate the end of an era and the promise of a new beginning.  Not all friendships are meant to be lifelong; some friends and associates come into our lives for a season and for a reason.  Knowing when to move on can keep us from becoming stagnant and possibly being part of a toxic situation.  Sometimes what happens to us mirrors what happens in the animal world – if you don’t leave the nest when the time is right, mother/father bird (circumstances) may push you out of the nest!

When you decide to move on make sure you include your support system as you plan your transition.  Understand, while you are making your transition, well-meaning people might unknowingly, as I say, “pour acid” on you or your ideas.  Once that happens that someone has shown you who she/he really is – and where you stand.  You’re allowed to be upset yet be happy for the information.   Now you can pack your parachute smarter and take only those positive persons and resources necessary as you move forward.

The “big move” might not seem big to others yet it might be a monumental thing for you.  A new job for a recent college graduate is the highlight of years of hard work in the classroom.  A lateral job move may spark new excitement about your work.  A promotion or move to a new company will present challenges – and open avenues of career progression for others.  A networking event may put you in touch with someone who can offer much needed encouragement as you decide next steps.   Severing toxic professional relationship opens the door for you to develop new and nurturing relationships.  Earning the right to retire and being paid to do whatever your heart desires for 40 hours a week is a transition many of us dream of.  Each of these examples signal moving on to bigger and in so many instances, better and healthier situations.

Recently my Goddaughter and her husband relocated their family “north”.  I was so glad she told me about her plans.  This feels very different from the first time “she left me”.   Alyssa has everything she needs to succeed so she must stay confident in having taken the leap of faith.  It is more than a notion to, as Maya Angelou wrote, “cut a new path”.  To follow a new job, new hobby, a dream or new relationship whether you’re in your 20’s or in your 50’s can cause some anxious moments.  The fact she and her husband have a vision, have laid plans, have a great support system and have the love and support of their family and friends will help them establish new roots – and to prosper.

I’m very grateful for the lessons I’ve learned about movin’ on…